Hi! So, who is writing all this personal and awkward stuff? My name is Mandy. I am a non-binary adult living in British Columbia, Canada, who lives with and manages incontinence. To put it simply, my bladder does not work like most others, and I need to take specific measures to manage it. Since my early teens, my bladder has been abnormally active, and with age, this has increased. Doctors and specialists have speculated that a couple of surgeries, as well as some early trauma, could be the cause. Over the years, I tried most therapies, including pelvic floor and various medications. However, I am still left with a very active bladder, resulting in consistent urge incontinence.

Throughout my life, trying to figure out how to manage incontinence has involved a lot of confusion, low self-worth, fear, and shame. However, with some exploration, help from others, and self-care, I have come to a very healthy place with it. I still experience incontinence daily, but I now manage it very well. In fact, I am thriving! Although I wear diapers, I remain very physically active in sports such as rock and ice climbing, trail running, kayaking, and backcountry skiing. I live a full life, maintaining a daily meditation and exercise routine and spending time with my loving family. I also have a rewarding career in ecological conservation and an amazing and supportive life partner.

Over the past decade or so, I have squandered many hours looking for helpful information on ways to manage my condition and seek support from people who are dealing with similar issues. I have found very little. Most online advice appears to come from vendors who sell incontinence products, often with an agenda to generate sales. A couple of retailers are marketing incontinence products in ways that encourage self-confidence and reduce negative stigma, which is excellent and much needed. However, even though these vendors shed a more positive light on incontinence, I have found them to be not a significant source of real advice, most of it being broad and generic. Some associations and groups are purely for support. Still, they tend to provide little information about all the components of living with incontinence, especially the nitty-gritty details. I have explored support forums with some relatable and helpful material, but I found that much of the content is minimal, defeatist and ultimately depressing. I have come across a couple of vloggers with some relatable content, but much of it seemed to go off the mark. Finally, it’s almost impossible to search for online information about incontinence without eventually coming upon something fetish related. While I have nothing against fetishism or varied orientations, much of the rhetoric that comes from fetish-based sites perpetuates stigmas about incontinence (I will elaborate more on this in future articles). To sum it up, every time I have searched online for some relatable content or advice about incontinence, I am left feeling a little down and frustrated.

To this day, I have yet to find much that provides in-depth information and support about living with incontinence—the daily nitty-gritty and all the very sensitive social and pragmatic aspects of it. Once, I met with an incontinence nurse who was very kind but had little to offer because most of her work focused on geriatric and bed-bound patients. I have met with multiple urologists who speculated on the cause and potential remedies, but knew absolutely nothing about living and managing incontinence.  However, over the years, mostly through trial and error, I have learned a ton about how to thrive while living with incontinence. Since so little information is available to those trying to manage incontinence, it makes me feel good to share my knowledge and experiences.

I hope that this site can help anyone living with incontinence. Even if the practical advice does not work or apply to you, knowing that others are doing well might help.

Additionally, I would like to clarify that I am not affiliated with any organization, including those involved in the manufacture or distribution of incontinence products. This site is not a marketing tool! I opened this site because sharing my experience and knowledge is therapeutic for me and potentially for others.